I think a lot of other married Men can agree with me shopping with the Wife is the dullest experience on Earth.
I can spend a good 5-10 minutes at most clothes shopping as all I need to do is go in, see something I like and buy it.
No, not the Wife.
She can literally spend hours in one shop trying on different outfits, browsing every single line of fabric that comes across her eye. Like you dont already have 6 of them at home already.
Why do they always put the waiting seats for female changing rooms right near the underwear? As if us Men aren’t embarrassed enough having to sit and wait for ages; they like to make us seem like some perverts hanging around the lacy knickers. Then someone has the cheek to ask those dreaded 4 words; “Do you work here?”.
Shopping with the Wife is literally the waiting game wherever we go. An example; we had gone food shopping and were just near the end of the shop when she said “I just need to get something quickly from the freezer section, wait here”
“Ok” I replied and stayed put. Not kidding I swear she was gone for a good 10 minutes. 10 minutes for one item. How?
It’s not just the Wife that makes shopping a nightmare, it can be the people that block an entire aisle just to have a conversation. Excuse me, but can you continue this mundane gossip elsewhere?
When it’s the festive season everyone changes into ruthless Monsters. They tear each other apart for the last pack of Brussel Sprouts. They shout and swear at each other just for the smallest of things. I’ve even witnessed a fist fight over a parking space once, like, guys be nice.
Black Friday can be funny, all these people going crazy over the smallest discounts that aren’t even that great to be honest, on products they wouldn’t think of buying any other day.
Can I please not walk into a shop to browse without being jumped on by some pushy sales guy. I understand it’s your job but calm down. No, your couch isn’t any better than the one I saw in the previous shop, in fact I think they are the same one.
It also seems like customer service has just disappeared everywhere you go. Members of staff seem so miserable and taken aback when you ask the simplest questions. Rather than try to help you they give some grumpy/sarky reply or just point and say “It’s over there”. Yeah that doesn’t help mate.
Maybe next time I’m out with the Wife shopping I should take a crossword to pass the time? That or they should have a “Husband Drop off area” drop us off and collect us when you are finished.